Chapter 1

(Lily POV)

Today''s my fourteenth birthday.

There won''t be any birthday cake, singing, or party. Instead, we''re going to a funeral. My sister''s funeral, to be exact.

Before my sister... died... we had this huge party planned for me. I don''t usually do big parties, but fourteenth birthdays are a massive deal for werewolves. It''s the day we first meet our wolves. The next big milestone is our twentieth birthday—that''s when we can identify our fated mates.

I''m our Beta''s youngest daughter, and my dad is really loved and respected around here. Everyone was pumped to meet my wolf and see what kind she''d be. So the guest list for my party was pretty huge, including ranked wolves from packs nearby.

I''m usually kind of a loner, which is why I don''t normally have big birthday parties. But for this one, I was actually excited to have a crowd. Meeting your wolf comes with your first shift, and that can be incredibly painful. Since we''re naturally social creatures, the only thing that helps wolves get through first shift pain is having supportive family, friends, and community around you.

Here''s how it usually works: the pack hosts a dinner or barbecue in your honor. When night falls and the moon takes over the sky, everyone gathers in the pack amphitheater. The soon-to-be shifter stands in the center while everyone quietly chants well wishes and prayers to the Moon Goddess. The energy in that space can be absolutely electric, whether there are twenty-five people or five hundred.

Once the first shift is done, the new wolf prances around the stage, showing off. The crowd goes "ooh" and "aah" until the pack alpha comes over, learns the new wolf''s name, and introduces them to everyone. The new wolf also swears allegiance to the pack and alpha, which lets them mind-link with other pack wolves. Finally, the new wolf and any guests old enough to shift go for a pack run.

The whole thing is incredibly special and exciting.

Obviously, decorations are a huge part of the party planning. Each shifter gets to pick their decorations and party theme. If more than one wolf turns fourteen on the same day, they can either agree on a theme or split the party into sections they decorate individually. The pack luna works some kind of magic that somehow blends the individual areas into one cohesive theme in the center.

My birthday''s in October, and despite how big our pack is, I''m the only one born today. I love having an October birthday because fall is my favorite season. For decorations, I picked flowers and stuff in rich fall colors—deep oranges, reds, and greens.

Unfortunately, none of my party decorations will be used. Well, none will be used for me.

Like I said, we''re holding a funeral today instead. My oldest sister, Stephanie, died this morning.

Pack and religious tradition says we have to hold funerals within twenty-four hours of death. Since Stephanie died just after midnight, her funeral has to be today. All the food and decorations set aside for my birthday party got immediately switched over for the funeral. Thankfully, my fall colors were somber enough to work.

All the decorations that seemed "happy," celebratory, or mentioned me got removed. Pictures of Stephanie are now on tables and podiums, and the music I picked got swapped out for songs about loss or Stephanie''s favorites.

Losing Stephanie is a really big deal. She wasn''t just my sister and my parents'' oldest and favorite child—she was also expected to be the mate of Alpha Randall''s son, James, which meant she was probably going to be our pack''s future luna.

Stephanie would''ve turned twenty in three months, and she and James would''ve been able to confirm they were mates then. The pack was so sure they were mates—and Alpha Randall was so eager to hand the pack over to James and his mate once she was identified and ready for the luna position—that they broke standard protocol and decided to start Stephanie''s luna training right after she turned eighteen.

If I''m being completely honest, something never felt right about Stephanie starting luna training. Part of it is what her training meant for me, but that''s a separate conversation. The biggest thing was that I didn''t understand why luna training couldn''t wait until Stephanie turned twenty and could confirm who her mate was. Lunas for generations have waited for their training—why couldn''t Stephanie?

It also really bothered me to watch Stephanie hanging all over James at pack functions. Our pack frowns on dating and public displays of affection before finding your mate—it creates too much risk for problems, anger, and jealousy once your mate shows up.

For whatever reason, they made an exception for Stephanie. But then again, they always made exceptions for her. Stephanie was strong and absolutely gorgeous, and everyone knew her as kind, smart, and energetic. She could do no wrong in my parents'' eyes, the alpha''s eyes, or the pack''s eyes.

I hope I don''t sound too jealous or bitter. I loved my sister, and her death is hitting me really hard. It''s just that... I knew a different side of my sister than everyone else, and I know better than anyone that she was far from perfect. If I''d spoken up before she died, I would''ve been accused of jealousy and lying. And if I spoke up now, well... I''d be accused of jealousy, lying, AND speaking ill of the dead.

It''s easier to just let it go. Along with my birthday. It''s not that important anyway. I don''t want to be selfish or self-centered.

The only immediate problem with letting go is that—bad timing or not—I''m going to shift for the first time tonight. There''s nothing I can do to stop or postpone it, as much as I''d like to. I''m worried about how it''s going to go.

Hopefully, during the reception, my mom or dad or brother or someone will be willing to step aside with me for twenty or thirty minutes just to get me through it. We could then come back and act like everything''s normal. Or as normal as it can be with Stephanie gone.

I should''ve known nothing in life is that easy.